New Beginning, Part II

I want to write again.  I’ve been wanting to do it for a while. I’ve started a new post {and stopped} at least three other times in the past twenty-one months. 

It’s like breaking awkward silence between friends. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to pick up the phone and make the call.

The problem I had is deciding at what point over the last two years do I pick up my story from?  So much has happened in my life since October 2019.  So. Very. Much.  I’m not even including the global pandemic on my list! 

And, it is my story. I own the narrative, now.  I never did before.  I have lived my entire adult life up until this past year like an out-of-body experience, just going through the motions.  Only, I never realized it.  Well, I had some idea that there was something wrong with me, but I could never pinpoint what that thing was. 

And then, something happened. 

On December 4, 2019, I did something I never, in a million years, envisioned myself doing.  I drove my youngest child, without her knowledge, to a recovery treatment center for an evaluation.  The next day, she began intensive, outpatient treatment for addiction and I was set on the path that led me to where I am today.

If you’ve been following my blog since its inception, I know what you may be thinking. 

My word, what are the odds of having two children with such life altering experiences? 

You may feel sorry for me, for us. Don’t. Please do not leave a comment telling me how sorry you are.  I’m serious. There is nothing to be sorry for.  

I have two adult daughters whom I love with my whole heart.  From my oldest daughter, I learned the meaning of unconditional love.  From my youngest daughter, I learned that in order to give love unconditionally, and do it well, you must love yourself first. Despite my personal challenges and limitations, I’ve managed to raise two strong, amazing, brave, unique individuals.

I’m back, and I’m not here to share either of my daughter’s stories with you. That’s not my place. Their stories are theirs to tell.  I am a changed person. I’m here to share my story, my journey, with you in the most authentic way possible.

More to come.

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